segunda-feira, 26 de março de 2012

Good Mourning

I just came to realize you're gone, for good. Or so you said you were, though I'm hoping you're not. I cannot describe this utter numbness I have been feeling, this ache in my chest that won't let me breathe. I wonder if I will ever be able to embrace the fact that I no longer have you by my side. And so I mourn. Not a death, but a departure, the loss of a part of myself you kept in you. A part of myself I neither want nor can get back, for it will only bring the memory of something I won't ever be able to retrieve or replace. I'm sorry you left, I truly am, but I for sure will not fight for someone who won't fight for me. I fight the urge to speak to you once again, though I know it will lead to the same argument. I'm sorry we came to this, I'm sorry you made it happen. I know I have no right to blame you, but you and I both know you were the one unwilling to make a sacrifice, like I, so many times, have. I've known all along we weren't in this equally. Many a time you've wanted to let this go to give up on us but I never allowed you to, up until now. Now, I've had enough. I fight the urge to really let out what goes on inside me mind, to pour out everything I'm feeling right now. Actually, it might just be very simple, I feel anger and disgust. Disgust for all I've done that hasn't been neither appreciated nor rewarded, for all I've sacrificed, in vain, for us. Today, I really have given up. I know for a fact that you'll try to come back and, when you do, I won't let you.

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